英倫散記（分別）

 在倫敦生活了八年，有一天忽然決定離開她，當時的感覺，就如比爾·布萊森在他的《小島日記》中說的： 忽然，在一瞬間，領悟到為什麼會喜歡倫敦－實際上，是她所有的，每一處，好的或壞的。正如作家Bill Bryson所說:

"I can never understand why Londoners fail to see that they live in the most wonderful city in the world. It is far more beautiful and interesting than Paris, if you ask me, and more lively than anywhere but New York - and even NY can 't touch it in lots of important ways. It has more history, finer parks, a livelier and more varied press, better theaters, more numerous orchestras and museums, leafier squares, safer streets, and more courteous inhabitants than any other large city in the world.

How is it possible, in this wondrous land where the relics of genius and enterprise confront you at every step, where every realm of human possibility has been probed and challenged and generally extended, where many of the very greatest accomplishments of industry, commerce and the arts find their seat, how is it possible in such a place that when at length ....

It looked so peaceful and wonderful that I could almost have cried, and yet it was only a tiny part of this small, enchanted island. Suddenly, in the space of a moment, I realized what it was that I loved about Britain -- which is to say, all of it. Every bit of it, good and bad -- Marmite, village fetes, country lanes, people saying “mustn't grumble”, and “I'm terribly sorry but', ….。

How easily we lose sight of all this. what an enigma Britain will seem to historians when they look back on the second half of the twentieth century. Here is a country that fought and won a noble war, dismantled a mighty empire in a generally benign and enlightened way, created a far-seeing welfare state - in short, did nearly everything right - and then spent the rest of the century looking on itself as a chronic failure. The fact is that this is still the best place in the world for many things - to post a letter, go for walk, watch television, buy a book, venture out for a drink, go to a museum, use the bank, get lost, seek help, or stand on a hillside and take in a view .

All of this came to me in the space of a lingering moment. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I like it here. I like it more than I can tell you. and then I turned from the gate and got in the car and knew without doubt that I would be back.”

我寫到：

連綿不斷的細雨，從欣賞，到無視，最後厭倦。

倫敦，在我猶豫是前行還是後退的時候，做了我躊躇的驛站。

躊躇，是不知道自己未來的路線。

想通的那一瞬間，時光一躍過了八年。

八年，難道只有文章幾篇？

也許吧，生命不過是本小小自傳！

然而，那美麗的夏日，小說裡的街道，

綠意蔥蔥的公園，都還近在眼前。

腦子裡多了歐洲歷史和藝術這個維數，算是擴展了思想空間。

在倫敦，我重拾大學時的寫作愛好。一生中，有多少這樣可以重來的習慣？

可是，後面有熟悉的紐約和普林斯頓，前面有上海和青島讓我留戀。

於是知道，離開她，終有一天。

這一天到底來了。

無法重溫曾經的喜悅，

無法更改曾經的遺憾。

讀桑塔亞那的《世界是我的東道主》，感到有一些共同的細微感情。我們都喜歡英格蘭，但卻都是流浪者，不會和她永遠在一起，知道有一天會離她而去。他曾描述過：

[1932年]最後這次訪問之後，我與英格蘭的告別幾乎就像是逃跑。想到這內容豐富的一章已經永遠結束，何嘗不是一種解脫。就像埋葬一位早已離婚的妻子，最終有了和平。不再想修修補補，關於往昔的擁抱的記憶不再被新的失望所籠罩。我曾經以深沉寧靜的歡樂擁抱過英格蘭。她簡樸、傑出，有怡人的生活習俗，幾近完美。她的待人接物之道正派、明智、溫和，她的目光和聲音多麼美麗動聽，她的感情多麼健康! 雖然我是個堅定的流浪者，不適合做她的情人或丈夫，然而她有時候看起來是有點愛我的。她理解，我是可信賴的，實事求是，不會見到真相而震驚。她感到，我像一位詩人那樣愛她，沒有要求，沒有恭維，只是在他真摯的狂喜中夾有一絲無法治癒的痛楚。

我們都愛上了愛英倫。